"It Aint' Necessarily So"

‘ It ain’t necessarily so, it ain’t necessarily so. The things that you’re liable to read in the Bible, they ain’t necessarily so.’ (George and Ira Gershwin, “Porgy and Bess”, 1935)

Several  years ago I was asked to preach at a downtown church, on Pride Sunday. It was a congregation with many gay people, some of whom were my friends, and I was asked to address gay marriage.I started looking for something to address Biblical texts in their original context and happened upon a paper by Rev. Dr. Walter Wink, a well-known biblical scholar. (See link) His paper provided just what I needed – a kind of de-bunking of those texts which are consistently lifted out of context and then misinterpreted. 

So let’s go with Leviticus -  ‘a man shall not lie down with a man as with a woman’.  At the time this was written, it was believed that men carried all of the ‘seed of life’, and simply implanted that into a woman who then provided an incubating space for it to grow. Otherwise the woman’s role was nil. So relationships between women are not included in Leviticus at all.

Now, these were people who had left slavery and oppression for a new life in a new land, but they were a minority. They took the command to be fruitful and multiply seriously. For a man to waste the ‘seed of life’, either through a relationship with another man, or masturbation for example – was an abomination. Note that it wasn’t the relationship or the action which was abomination but the wasting of life. Women, and presumably eunuchs, didn’t count . Both were property. Neither had anything to do with procreation, hence not important.

Today, we know that women are as much a part of procreation as men.  However, marriage is not just about procreation – if it were we would be preventing anyone who cannot procreate from getting married. For me, the most important part of marriage is the expression of human love. Through the person of Jesus, who Christians claim to follow, the old understandings were removed, and a new ethic came into play – the ethic of love. When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus used two things: the Sh’ma – “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might; and the second is love your neighbour as yourself. On this hang ALL of the law and ALL of the prophets.”

There is a misinterpretation going around which says that somehow pastors will be *forced* to perform same-gender marriages. Nothing could be further from the truth. Canada has recognised same-gender marriages since 2005 – and those clergy who disagree have not been affected in any way. The people who are affected are the people who are asking to be able to enter into committed loving and legal relationships. My marriage is not threatened; and if your marriage is so weak that you think it is threatened, then there is something already wrong within your own relationship. This ruling does one thing - it recognises love as the one ethic which permeates the entire Bible and the Christian faith – love, actually.

http://forusa.org/content/homosexuality-bible-walter-wink

"Family"

Last night, a wonderful family member died.  It was sudden and unexpected news for us. We will be home in time for the celebration of his life.

In 1970 my imagination was captured by a mission education curriculum developed by the United Church of Canada, called “Live Love”. The premise was simple – we are known by how we live with and relate to other people, not by the words of faith which we speak. Having decided not to become a concert pianist  - too much time on the road  –  I decided instead to go overseas with the church to teach music, and there met my husband, Norio.

Just before I left for Japan, I was invited to dinner with an aunt and uncle in Toronto. They were just a little dismayed that their niece, my cousin Jane, was marrying “a Japanese”. They were concerned that because he was Japanese there would be too many cultural differences and the adjustment would be too difficult. I can still hear my aunt talking about what a nice young man he was, how much they liked him, and then a pause…….”but he’s Japanese.”  Cross-racial marriages just weren’t happening often at that time. Norio and I were married a year later, and I remember wondering what my aunt and uncle thought of that as well.

Fast forward to 1984, when Norio and I moved with the kids to Toronto. We were ecstatic to learn that there was a Saturday Japanese language school where our four boys could continue in Japanese studies. At the end of that school year, June 1985, there was a big celebration lunch where awards were given. My mother was visiting, and we were seated at a table with a first-generation Japanese couple. Introductions – my mother said “My name is Kay Vickers.” The other woman said “Vickers. My daughter-in-law was a Vickers before she married our son Allan. I wonder if you are related? Her name is Jane.” 

There are no coincidences in life, I am convinced. Fifteen years later, back in Toronto,  we meet the family of my cousin Jane, married to Allan Watanabe. Jane was just being ordained in the Anglican Church of Canada. I was working at the United Church National Office. We became fast friends with the Watanabes. At family gatherings Allan and Norio stood over the barbecue joking about themselves as “the Japanese houseboys”.  Jane joked that Mrs. Watanabe loved me because I could speak Japanese.  The Watanabes had been instrumental in creating the Japanese Heritage Language School, where anyone, regardless of ethnic background, could learn the language. I taught adults there for three years. My kids were thrilled that they had half-Japanese cousins.

Although he was ‘family by marriage’, Allan was more than that. He was *family*. His parents were *family* - as much as any of my relatives by birth.  There’s a big hole in our family now – and he will be missed. A lot. Family means many things – being related by blood is only one part of ‘family’.  So many other things are so much more important. Goodbye, Allan – we are going to miss you. A lot.

Ants!!!!

Yesterday I was sitting on the lounge chair by the pool, with Norio, having a glass of wine, and munching on some potato chips we found in the cupboard. The idea in this house is that whatever is there is to be used – no matter which guest buys it or leaves it. So,  little bits of potato chip dropped to the bricks, and before long the ants arrived. We sat for a good half hour watching as they came and picked up a crumb of chip, and trotted that crumb away. One ant picked up a piece really too big – staggered along heroically – until another ant came up and took the other side, and together they moved the big piece of chip off to their nest. Yet another ant decided to *pull* a large piece, rather than try to carry it. One can learn a lot from ants.

I’d almost forgotten, till this reminded me, of the day I was sitting in the bathroom in Viet Nam, for about three hours – watching ants move the carcass of a finally-dead cockroach.  Roaches in Viet Nam were a good three inches long and could fly. (Shudder.) Norio had sprayed and whacked this one, and was about to burn it and flush the ash down the drain ( the only way, he said, to be sure it was really dead) when the ants came out. One by one they lined up at the tail end of the roach. Two ants got on top – one at the front and one at the back. Then another group of ants came to the front end. They began to move the roach – pushing from the back and pulling from the front. The two on top ran back and forth transmitting orders. Seriously. As they moved off the floor and up the wall, more ants were directed to the back end to push up. When the carcass started to slide, even more ants were called in. It was an amazing exercise in co-operative community. I don’t buy the notion that this is only instinct. If that’s the case, why do humans not rely on such collaborative instinct more, instead of less.

Too often we in ministry see congregations tear the carcass apart rather than collaborate and share. We see people willing to let go of a church rather than change their perspective to help it move ahead. Often the change in perspective doesn’t mean the death of that congregation – although it might, and that’s not a bad thing – but it does mean the death of the way things are done, and a good clean sweep of the old dusty places. Don't get me wrong, sometimes congregations have to close and die - but not always.

It seems to me ants are aware that the only way to accomplish something for the good of the community is to both push and pull. It might require innovation. I guess that’s the point – the carcass has to be got to the nest, one way or the other.  It might not even be the way they’ve done it before.  Somehow, as I watch ants, I don’t get the feeling ‘how we’ve done it before’ comes into the equation.

People attach so much meaning to places that eventually the place becomes their reason for being. As a young married woman, still living in Viet Nam, I was irked incredibly when a friend in Winnipeg asked me when I was going to ‘come home and settle down'. My answer was ‘Home is wherever I am.'  In the church Jesus said “wherever two or three are gathered…”. “Church” is not a place, for me, it’s a people – and that means it doesn’t matter where we are. What matters is how we live and collaborate with each other. If we cannot do that, the physical place – the building -  is truly meaningless.  It’s wonderful to be able to say “My mother was married here, I was married, here, my kids were baptised here and now they are getting married here too.” Yes. Wonderful. Lots of good memories. But is it critical for the future???? It should not be. We need to take a lesson from the ants – and learn how to work together for the good of us all. If each congregation (aka anthill) could do this, collaborate – with each other and with our neighbourhood, wouldn’t there be a huge difference in how our neighbourhoods and churches are shaped? I wonder......