Tolerance or Respect?

One of the words which I find most aggravating is the word "tolerance". We talk about religious tolerance, and racial tolerance - those two are really where it comes out the most. Frankly, I am tired of it. "Tolerance" is, to me, a power word in today's world.

Here's why:  'Dictionary Online' says  'tolerance' is "a fair, objective and permissive attitude towards those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry."

Oxford Dictionary says "The ability or willingness to tolerate the opinions or existence of behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with."

The word "tolerate" literally means "to allow something to exist or to happen, or to put up with" something. There is the implication of  'power over'. In the first case, the way the word is used today has been offered as the current meaning of the word. However, in my opinion the second case gets closer to the true meaning - tolerating something, allowing it to happen. The minute we use the word "allow", there is the crux of my disaffection for the word "tolerance", because when we talk about religious or racial tolerance, we are saying we allow it to happen - and the *unspoken* part of that is, we have the power to stop it from happening if we so desire. In my mind this is part of the root of current religious and racial *intolerance*; a struggle for power 'over'; and it doesn't really matter what the race or religion is, every culture and racial group has its intolerance and its tolerance. Japanese nowadays 'tolerate' indigenous Koreans born there; Israelis 'tolerate' Palestinians born in Israel. It's not restricted to just us North Americans, nor is it only whites - although it is mostly those of us who are descended from 'empires' in one way or another.

I really wish we humans would use the word "respect", and internalise respect so that we practice it. Oxford Dictionary offers this: "Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights and traditions of others."

Urban Dictionary provides this:  "Valuing each other's points of view - being open to being wrong  - accepting people as they are. It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable.We are lacking respect for each other."

"Tolerance" is not a relationship word, it's a power word - with all the implied and inferred power to give or take away permission.We practice religious 'tolerance' in Canada - which really means we the power group (and we whites still are) can take away the ability to practice one's own religion, if we so desire.

Respect is a human relationship word. It means each human being intrinsically has value and worth, just as much as we do. It means that someone may not agree with our perspective; it does not mean we can be patronising towards them if they do disagree, or if they see things from a different angle, because then we are 'tolerating' and not respecting. It means, in the Christian parlance, to love our neighbour just as much as we do ourselves; to accord our neighbour all the rights and privileges we believe we deserve, *and more*. What we need in our world is less tolerance and a whole lot more respect for the experiences, desires, rights, and intelligence of others. If all of our governments, all of our businesses and structures, all of our religions, all of our human interactions were based on mutual respect and willingness to work together, surely the Realm of God would be here already.