"All Our Agreements" final sermon preached at Presteign-Woodbine United Church August 30th, 2015

James 1:17–27 Every good and perfect gift is from Creation, coming from the Maker of the heavenly lights, one who does not change like shadows. We were given birth through the word of truth, and are called to be a kind of firstfruits of creation. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry; human anger does not produce the desired balance of soul and spirit.  Do not just listen to the word, and pretend you live it. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do it is like someone who looks in a mirror  and, after looking at himself, immediately forgets what he looks like.  Whoever looks into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - will be blessed in what they do. Those who consider themselves religious, and yet do not listen, think and consider, and keep a tight rein on their tongues, deceive themselves; their religion is worthless. Pure and faultless  religion is this: to look after the underprivileged and poor in their distress, and to keep oneself from being defiled by the world.

Mark 7:1–8, 14–15, 21–23  The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus, and saw some disciples eating food with hands that were unwashed. (The Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they give their hands a ceremonial washing, holding to the tradition of the elders. When they come from the marketplace they do not eat unless they wash. They observe many other traditions, such as the washing of cups, pitchers and kettles.) So they asked Jesus, “Why don’t your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with dirty hands?” Jesus replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:

“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’  You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.”

Again Jesus called to the crowd and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a person can make them dirty by going in. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that makes them dirty. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come - sexual immorality, theft, murder, greed, malice, deceit, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

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During the month of August  I got into reading a series of books by Ellis Peters, based around the life of Brother Cadfael,  a 12^th century Benedictine monk who solves mysteries. Sme of you might remember the TV series with Sir Derek Jacobi as Cadfael. One was an in-depth look at heresy – at that time considered anyone who questioned the teachings of the great St. Augustine. 

The one I have just finished reading is “Summer of the Danes”, a story involving the historical characters of Owain ap Gwynedd, King of Wales – and his brother Cadwaladr. Owain was well known for his honest dealings, his word was always solid, and if he gave a promise even to an enemy, he kept his word and his promise. His brother Cadwaladr, however, seemed to be in and out of trouble all the time, and every time something happened, Owain would rise in anger, punish, and then relent and welcome his brother back. Blood, family, was most important. In this story, Cadwaladr has attacked and murdered without cause, and as a result his brother the king strips him of his lands, title and wealth. In order to try to force his brother to give him back his lands and wealth, he enters into an agreement with the Danes of Dublin (the Vikings had by then become rooted in Ireland) and promises them two thousand marks to join him to fight. Except – his brother Owain is more interested in finding a peaceful resolution with the Danes. So Cadwaladr dismisses them without paying what he promised, thinking that his brother will back him up, and suddenly many lives are in danger. Owain is furious, and angry. He will only consider forgiveness if Cadwaladr looks to his own promise and keeps his word of payment. Cadwaladr doesn’t believe it because Owain has always taken him back. It’s a convoluted story but in the end, Cadwaladr is forgiven – although he doesn’t get back his lands or his money. Nor, unfortunately, does he learn his lesson.

We have two scriptures today, one about anger and one about what defiles a person. – and it seemed to me that the two brothers Owain and Cadwaladr, are good examples of what was meant. Owain, who was a wise king and ruled almost 40 years, is a man who listens carefully, thinks carefully, doesn’t get angry easily – and if there is a peaceful way to end a confrontation with little or no loss of life, he will always look for the peaceful way. His word is rock solid. He doesn’t say anything he doesn’t mean, he is always careful with his words, and he stands on his word – because he knows his reputation stands on his word. What comes out of his mouth is as important as everything else, if not more so.

Cadwaladr, on the other hand, doesn’t listen. He thinks in haste, gets angry fast and often acts in anger, then tries to patch things up and make them better. Inevitably he makes things worse. His word is worth nothing. He manipulates and tries always to turn everything to his own advantage, and then expects to be bailed out by his brother when things go bad, with no consequences to himself. The lives and safety of others don’t seem to matter.

Several years ago I came across a book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Don Ruiz is now a traditional Toltec spiritual leader and healer, the son of a healer and a shaman. As a young man he chose not to follow this path but instead go to medical school and become a surgeon. He was involved in a car accident in which he himself fell asleep at the wheel, but awoke just as the car hit a wall, and was able to pull his two friends from the wreckage. He remembers that he was not in his physical body at the time, but watched himself save the two friends. Since that time he has embarked on in-depth self-inquiry and spiritual discernment, and has studied all spiritualities, as well as traditional Toltec wisdom and healing.

The ‘four agreements’ are essentially agreements we make with ourselves, for how we are going to live.

1.    Be impeccable with your word. Meaning, speak with integrity, and say only what you mean at all times. Avoid gossip about others when you really don’t know. Use the power of your own word for truth and love. That is harder than it sounds, for it means a lot of self-examination and care.

2.    Don’t take anything personally. Meaning, nothing that others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. This one I think is the hardest for clergy to learn – that most often when there is criticism it is an extension of the person doing the criticizing; but we tend to take it on ourselves as if it’s ours. Instead, we need to be able to discern clearly what are our own issues, what are not our own issues, and the stuff which isn’t ours we don’t worry about.

3.   

        Don’t make assumptions.

Ask questions express what you really mean. Communicate as clearly as you can in order to avoid misunderstanding. This is closely related to the first agreement, and in fact if you follow this alone your life can be substantially different.

4.    Always do your best

Now, recognize that your best will likely change from moment to moment, depending on how well or unwell you are, or your personal circumstances. If you work always to do your best, then you can avoid self-judgment.

And you return to Number 1 and continue.

Of the two brothers, Owain represents the best of these. He has built a reputation for himself based on his honesty, his integrity of speech and action, his willingness to be responsible for those things which are really his. He is quite literally a man of his word. And as such he is respected by all. He does not allow the rest of the world to determine for him who he is. He understands that it is what comes from him which makes a difference. The world does not corrupt him – if I didn’t know better I’d say he has read this book. He knows that what comes from within is what corrupts, not what comes from the outside.

Cadwaladr, on the other hand, allows the world to decide for him who he is. His personal word is meaningless – he has absolutely no integrity whatsoever. He lies, cheats, steals, kills, manipulates. In the story, the fact that he puts the lives of others in danger to gain his own ends is meaningless to him. He remains angry at his brother and consistently tries to manipulate the situation. …and yet he always says he is doing what he does for the ‘other’, trying to make his own issues theirs as well.

So, why this today? Our time has come to an end. Some of us have known each other well enough that certain things were already understood. Some of us didn’t. Now, you and I both start again elsewhere. You have a new minister coming in who doesn’t really know any of you, and you don’t know much about her. And I think for you it’s more critical in this case, for you are embarking on a two-year commitment to work towards a future. For this to work, you will need these four agreements. The success or failure of the venture will depend on everyone. No one can have a personal agenda they want to see happen here at Presteign-Woodbine, because a personal agenda would be a projection of your own desired reality, rather than looking clearly at what is. You will need to do what the letter of James talked about – listen, and be slow to speak.

When you do speak, be absolutely clear and impeccable with your word. Don’t assume you understand the other completely, don’t assume they understand you. Clarify and re-clarify. Work to do your best. Don’t assume others have motives they don’t. Don’t gossip, don’t do parking lot conversations. Don’t say things behind someone’s back that you would not say to their face. And above all, don’t take things personally and don’t make things personal.

And something we all need to remember – these things all take conscious work, all the time. They don’t happen overnight….that’s the point. They are a process of changing how we are with others and with ourselves – so we always need to be aware that our own old patterns, biases, uncertainties are still always around, and we always have to work with them. They are the things which make us who we are, those things which come out of us. Stepping off on a new road, even when you know the people you walk with, will be different, because it is a new road with new experiences. It is a time for care of one another, working together, listening to each other, allowing the Spirit to work in all of you without trying to set an agenda. It’s hard to live in uncertainty, but it’s my belief that often the very best things come out of uncertainty. It is important to remember that the Holy One is there in the uncertainty, and is looking for ways to work for the best for all concerned, whatever that may be. I’d be willing to be that if we asked every person what is your vision for Presteign-Woodbine, there would be something slightly different. The reality is no one has the right vision.

A student asked me this week, how do I get congregations to go along with my vision of where they should be. I answered that it isn’t my vision of where they should be which is important, it’s their vision of who they want to be and how they decide they want to get there. I can help and facilitate, I cannot devise a vision for them nor make them do it. Neither can anyone from within a congregation. The minute someone says “Here’s my plan for us…” that says to me that someone else’s vision will be lost. I want to encourage you to be open to all new visions, even those which at first glance seem like they might not be workable. You have the time now to do some serious thinking, and some serious discernment.

So my new place will not be my vision either…but a period of listening and learning, of observing how these two congregations are working towards a goal they have set for themselves, and encouraging along the way, sometimes leading but often letting them lead, and just being the presence which reflects them back to themselves. My role is temporary, the role of the congregation is longer-term. Nevertheless, clergy and congregation commit to walk together, even if the way is not always clear.

So, today, we all step off on new roads…and where will they take us? I wonder…..

Sources:

1.    Peters, Ellis. The Summer of the Danes, c.1991. Reprint MysteriousPress, Open Road Integrated Media 2014.

2.    Ruiz, Miguel Angel, MD. “The Four Agreements”, Amber-Allen Publishing 1997 and 2012, San Rafael, California.